Divorce & Remarriage

A Biblical Perspective

Many dear Christian people have been deeply hurt by divorce and are confused about the possibilities of remarriage. We hope to give some definitive direction to those seeking help. This is a controversial matter, for sure. We recognize that there will be godly and sincere Christians who will disagree with the position that we have taken. We have sought to be as biblical, clear and compassionate as we can in what we have written. We ask that you be equally careful in what you read, working hard not to read anything into this that we are not saying nor taking to an extreme what we have endeavored to keep in proper balance.

Divorce

Divorce was never a part of God’s original design for marriage (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5-8). It is something that God hates (Malachi 2:16). Christ permitted divorce only for the cause of sexual immorality1 (Matthew 5:32, 19:9). However, it must be remembered that divorce was allowed under the law because of the “hardness of men’s hearts” and not because of the original intentions of God. If sexual immorality has been committed, the faithful mate has the option to divorce, but it is not mandatory. We believe that the best course of action is for both partners to make every attempt to rebuild their marriage, even when sexual immorality is involved. The issue becomes a choice between that which is permissible under the law and that which is most like the heart of God. Therefore, we believe that no Christian should aggressively seek the dissolution of his or her marriage bond.

Remarriage

If you are divorced because of your mate’s sexual immorality, no matter who initiated the divorce, then you have three options before you. You may (1) be reconciled to your mate, (2) remain unmarried, or (3) marry someone else.

In all relationships throughout the Bible, reconciliation has been held as the highest expression of love and commitment and is therefore clearly most desirable (Matthew 5:23-26; 6:43-48; 18:21, 22; 19:5, 6; Mark 10:6-9; Luke 6:35; 1 Corinthians 7:10-16; 1 Corinthians 13). To remain unmarried is certainly not a “curse,” since Paul teaches that in many cases it is a purposeful calling which can bring an individual to a place of usefulness to God, perhaps unattainable if married (1 Corinthians 7:25-35; 1 Peter 2:19, 20). Remarriage to another is allowed if your divorce was because of sexual immorality by your spouse. However, such a marriage may not always be best for the parties involved, especially when there is the possibility of reconciliation with one’s original mate.

Pastoral Application

We are committed to resolving marital conflicts and healing broken relationships. Therefore, we will encourage the removal of all bitterness and hurt through confession, restitution and forgiveness as needed, and a renewed commitment to the original marriage relationship.

We will not consider remarrying a divorced person unless (1) his or her divorce was because of a mate’s immorality (or desertion that led to immorality), or (2) he or she was deserted for other reasons and every possibility for reconciliation has been exhausted due to his or her mate’s remarriage (thus making the mate adulterous) or death (1 Corinthians 7:39).

By becoming agents of reconciliation, we are upholding the highest degree of marital commitment and the original intention of God. We realize that not everyone will agree with our understanding of Scripture. This is an extremely emotional subject, making agreement even more difficult. However, we in no way intend for this statement to be harmful or divisive in the body of Christ. We are more than happy to spend the necessary time to pray and talk through this issue from Scripture with anyone who desire to do so.

1 “Sexual immorality” (Greek, Porneia) refers to intimate sexual involvement with someone other than one’s mate. This would include all forms of unlawful sexual activity: incest, homosexuality, prostitution, adultery, etc.